Lima Limon

So Lima is interesting in terms of people watching, but generally too chaotic for me.

The traffic network is stressing me out because I can´t understand how the hell people aren´t getting killed on these roads. Plus in true engineering geekness, I have been racking my brains on what the best solution(s) would be for this city. And I can´t work it out...God help whoever gets to sort these roads out 20 years down the line.


I fagged out for a bit the other day as there was supposedly some "queer\curious" event on a tuesday. It actually consisted of just about 10 gay guys sipping overpriced cocktails, listening to shocking 1994 dance music. Still, it was an experience as 75% of them had similar builds and features to me, which is odd after all these years.

I´m not feeling that connected to the people here as it does feel like I was just born here, look like them, but I´m pretty british and priviledged. Yesterday I got to see the hospital where my life began and took a few photos, then got callously ripped off by the taxi driver who demanded the quote in dollars, not soles. Looking back, this was only 16 quid to me, which in all fairness has been known to dribble out of my pockets with ease and probably meant him and his kid could have a few nice days. It was just the fake pal-ness of it all, pretending to give a shit about something quite deeply personal to me and asking me lots of questions about my family; once he knew i lived in London he was laughing. So from now on I have decided to publically be a student or a firefighter, and generally not say too much about much.
Sitting back in Larco Mar I took note of all the indigenous people begging and the general astuteness they have towards gringos. It´s hard to explain exactly how that makes me feel, because I guess I dont´t know what it feels like to have nothing. But I´m also not capable of ripping people off either, and it makes me irratated that so many people from where I come from are quite capable and skilled at doing so. I realise that having grown up with white parents makes it impossible for me to see myself as "us" and my folks as "them", and there´s no racial animosity in me.
So I have decided to leave this chaos behind and trek up to see the area where my biological mother is from, called Huanuco. It´s an 8 hour bus ride and cost 35 soles which i think is pretty good considering the picture of the nice coach. Will save me a night at a youth hostel anyway, so I hope the bus doesn´t turn out to be a pumpkin! From then on I plan to make it up to Yurimaguas (by bus and collectivo) too, and see where my sister is from. And then I´m going to take a lancha upto Iquitos and hopefully sail down a bit of the Amazon just to say I have. My British parents spent a good decade sailing up and down this river, pulling peoples rotten teeth out and dishing out medical supplies, so I think this venture might actually allow me to have a valid opinion on Worldly matters in my Dad´s eyes.
And that´s as far as my plans go, will probably take a week or so to get to Iquitos and another week of Amazon Adventure. I´d like to buy a shrunken head but life may not be that kind to me.

Todays´s treat was hearing Angels by Robbie Williams on the panpipes in El Parke de la Cultura. Laughed my arse off.

Un Nuevo Sol

so here i am waiting for my washing to be done before I head out to discover more of Lima.
I spent around 2 weeks in Rio, although the last week was a good 60km south of the city - surfing in Recreio.
Prior to that I did the usual sights of Sugar Loaf Mountain,nearly bumping straight into Neville Glue & wife who are church friends of my parents. Almost a sticky situation (!) seeing as they havent seen me since i was 18 and female. Luckily they didnt even recognize me - I was kind of tipsy and not in a mood to explain the ins and outs of my life since 1996.
I found a weird black flower in the Jardin Botanico, nailed a few caiprinhias by the Redeemers feet and also got to see a footie match in Maracana. Botafogo vs. Flamengo - it was pretty cool, somehow i managed to get a good spot just behind the goal post. Unfortunatley Botafogo lost after being 2 up so the atmosphere was pretty tense at the end. got chased by riot police on horses as i went to get the Metro home which was fairly full on but luckily (?) i have plenty of experience at this sort of thing. it was like Mayday all over again.

It is not possible to purchase steroids or arimidex over the counter at pharmacies here, at least not in the tourist zone. Apparently in Peru it is, according to the chemist. More on that later.

I`m shedding a new skin as I have been surfing for the past week amongst doing absolutley sod all apart from lie on the beach, swim and eat. The waves in Recreio are fat. I can sit and watch them for hours before tapping into a coconut and reapplying sunblock. I`ve always loved the sea, and after this week its made me even more determined to actually live near an ocean in the next 10 years. My only problem is whether I can last that long!

Made some new pals, my surf instructor Milly who is from Hawaii and will be heading up to Peru to catch some waves on this side of the continent. I`m looking forward to seeing her surf seeing as generally she`s just been teaching me or other beginners. Also made friends with some of the other brazilian and venezuelan workers there as I was sharing the dorm with them. Dorm being an overstatement - my bedroom back home is twice the size of that dorm; and only houses me, as opposed to 6 people. Still, it`s been an experience. I have had my tits out just the same as the other guys which is the first time anyone straight has seen my chest since surgery. Was quite nerve racking, especially as all the guys are proper surfer dudes with bodies to match. But noone batted an eyelid so I think it must look real. Also had to deal with the all male dorm habits of jerking off unsuttley. Now I thought about joining in, seeing as my bunk bed is jigging on its own accord cos of whoever above or below, but decided against it as theres gonna be certain aromas or sounds i cant replicate... i have studied xtube too throughly i think. it`s hard in more ways than one: little reminders that i`m special...timmy!

anyway, brazil was alright. im not sure if its the Nibido or what, but I havent seen better racks yet. I will monitor this though, world service and all that.

Meanwhile, here in Lima I got in at 5am, after an 18hr flight that stopped at Sao Paulo, Buenos Aires, Santiago and finally Peru. Don`t ask, yes there are shorter routes. Needless to say I was exhausted when i got here, especially due to the time difference. However, I have had about 10 days of early nights in a row (minus one or two)so tonight I`m gonna check out my roots.

"i killed Jay"

..said my nephew for the first time this saturday gone. Making me the happiest uncle alive!(although i lost the sword fight)
And my sister is happy that I'm becoming her brother, although she told me she was angry when she first found out.
i guess time and patience is what it takes, and so far it's paid off.
i'm finishing work on tuesday 19th, with a meeting of "TfL vs. A Developer", my role being to make sure surrounding bus journey times and reliability will be minimally affected. I've developed a fetish for intelligence. Work have been ok with me leaving, spun a bit of a white lie as to the reasons, but i have my future to think about!

TransActive goes live towards the end of the summer and i need to be in a position to be fund it. (that's my transgender and queer gym - popping up in the south east of london, exact place yet to be determined)
i'll leave work at 4pm and meet my bro, quick change of clothes and get on that plane - destination Rio de Janeiro. I can't wait!

Jungle Warfare

tonights session:

squats 3x10 @100kg - piece of piss
deadlifts 1x8 @70kg, 1x6@110kg, 1x8@130kg, 1x3@150kg
shrugs 1x10 @60kg, 1x10@100kg, 1x10@140kg
plus calves, abs, obliques

i'm back! my ab and oblique training is really paying all lifts were raw except for the 150 deadlift, where i used a belt
:)

really enjoying training thom up, he's motivating me to lift heavier all the time even though he's just beginning, im pleased with his final 5x60kg deadlift
protein beckons

M!

my passport is now officially M...
the week started a little darkly but i can see the light at the end of the tunnel :)

inca kola

just been reading this book over the weekend, my xmas present off dave (plus the latest horrorist cd seeing as i had the norovirus when i tried to see him play a few weeks ago).
all sorts of worries are now creeping through my head - like how too piss standing up at the side of the chicken bus, segregated: one side for men, one side for women. the mango is effective sometimes, but its uncomfortable and always that worry of screwing up.
i've been thinking a lot about metoidoplasty lately, i wonder if it's all just a progressive spiral until everything is done. i can remember a couple of years ago believing i would never transition. or never have surgery. and definetly never have bottom surgery. i guess circumstances change - i never thought i'd enjoy working!
tommorrow i'm seeing my cousin tim for the first time in about 3 years. seeing as we both work in tfl, we booked it as official meeting...
saw my dog at the weekend, and had a good old chinwag with my friend who looks after him. she's actually become a really good mate lately, in many ways reminds me of myself when i was younger, except with much more of a clue of what life is about. anyway, it was nice to see all of seth's clan who've done such a wicked job of looking after him this past 16 months. it's funny to think of seth not so much as my dog but a little bear in his own right, with his own network of humans!
i also met up with a lot of the guys i used to hang out with back in the early 2000's, and a sort of mild panic rose when i saw them all sat on the train waiting for me to peg it down the platform straight from having walked the dog, and shiv driving me manically from shipley to leeds train station. but they were all super cool about everything, not even needing explanations of why my name's changed since i last saw them or why i have sideburns now. i assume good old kinder must have updated them all which made it a lot easier and just plain nice to not to have to start the conversation with "so i changed gender..." and their attitude made me remember why i used to hang with them in the first place. sweet.

Eat Lightning and Crap Thunder

after 6 weeks of restlesness and various irritations from the british medical establishment, i'm pleased to say that my life is definetly on the up!
a) i have an ace job
b) i can go back to the gym today :)
c) the british breackcore, jungle, dubstep and gabber scene reclaimed me back to her firm bussom this weekend!! it was a year long break-up but now we understand each other even more, and i appreciate her and won't be taking her for granted either...now we can give each other more space, do and enjoy other things too. a more open relationship, if you like. i'm going to treat her and me more gently, so she keeps coming back and doesnt leave me in a crumpled heap on a sunday evening.

so there we were, me and dave - the gruesome twosome - 'aving it! we went to fangtabulous on the friday night which was a benefit for transfabulous. the trans arts festival thing here in the uk. oddly enough, i've never actually made it, seeing as in 2006 i was competing in my last powerlifting competition and was completly fucked (in more ways than one) after it. and in 2007 i was still in sydney.
i miss sydney quite a bit actually. i miss my platonic harem, arrow the pussycat and of course gordon's bay, not to mention the surfing. i think a return trip is definelty on the cards although probabaly not till 2009 seeing as 2008 will be south america in a big way, then im gonna stay in london again and hopefully keep doing contracting for 5 years or so and earning cash-money so i can eventually save up and buy land for a dog sanctuary. and my non-profit gym. hopefully seth will still be alive to be the mascot of my sanctuary...
anyway, back to transfabulous, someone asked dave if he was trans (cos he has small hands) which he thought was hilarious. and said "no".
dave is the lowest maintenance person i know, and i visualise him as a few small round spiky cactus grub-balls, surviving in the meagrest conditions. barely needing watering or much at all!
so we ended up leaving the sweaty queer party and heading off to yardvibe, where we were just in time for bong-ra to play. i fell asleep in the taxi there and the bouncer on the door was being a total knob.
"alright lads, you been out on the piss..?! getting tanked up all night have ya? it's three in the morning, i shouldn't let you'se in. enjoy your sleep did ya?"etc etc. dave was like "but the doors say it's open till 6am!" i thought we weren't gonna get in and then suddenly i got a good groping, i mean a pat down, and then shown inside. once in, we were in for a right treat. the music was so loud our windpipes were vibrating in our mouths, the tunes were completly banging and it was full of crazy british munters. i say this once and i say it again. the british music scene completly craps over so many other places in the world, especially for alternative dance music.

i'm in charge of the london bus priority network in 2 borough's in london - greenwhich and lewisham. and for once my job is actually interesting me enough for me to wake up, limit myself to 15 mins of xtube and jump out of bed at 7am and iron my shirt. or maybe it's because i can jump out and be wandering around with my tits out and it's all ok...and i don't have to squeeze into my compression shirt everyday.
and i'm getting kind of nerdy and thinking how really, what i'd rather do is go riding around on the buses in my area over the weekend and do a personal study, rather than be down the pub. i love london buses!
ken livingstone's vision for london regarding keeping transport moving is the most progressive policy i've read. i'm sat at my desk and when i get all lazy and think about jerking off at work i clip myself round the ear because i'm finally in a position to make a difference in the world, and make changes that will have a big impact on the environment (reducing use of the private car and hence pollution). i couldn't give two fucks about whether someone jumps the train/bus/tube i mean i was doing that last summer because we (the royal "we" plus pike) couldn't afford it. in reality public tranpsort should be free, and if i had my way there would be no congestion charging zone, instead there'd be a complete ban of private cars in zones 1 & 2. maybe you'll see that by 2025 (the 20 year plan), otherwise maybe i'll be wearing a blue kagool and stood at your local shelter doing bus spotting on the weekend.
i'm waiting for francis to show up through the door so we can go down to his gym where i have a week free trial - shitness first, unfortunatley. but i have heard that there's some massive guys down there, so i'm hopeful. the dumbells need to go upto at least 120lb'ers cos i was benching the 90's in sydney with ease for 10 deep reps. and they need a powercage or squat rack, aswell as a deadlift policy - of it being ok. some gyms will not let you deadlift as it's loud, it's nasty and it's supposedly what real men do. this past week i've realised i ain't a boy anymore. i'm definelty a lad /a guy, and i've been introduced at work as the "new young man come to sort us out". i'm not sure about the latter, but it did make me bring some homework back last night as in the next week or so i'm going to be drowning in work.

now i love deadlifting, but my back is feeling a bit weak seeing as i haven't done it for 2 nearly months. so tonight i'm going to do the following workout:

chest:
5x5 light incline bench dumbell press
5x5 light narrow grip barbell bench press
2 sets of dips - just bodyweight if i can manage it

legs:
very light squats.
3 sets of 5
very light deadlifts
3 sets of 5
calves
3 sets of 20

arms n' shoulders:
dumbell lat flyes
3 sets of 10 dumbell curls
3 sets of 10 tricep pushdowns

back:
2 sets of 10 lat pulldowns
2 sets of seated row

abs:
3 sets of 25 crunches

me bro has just walked through the door so we're off!
as dave would say

ta da for now
x